Big Thoughts

Purpose. What does it mean? From scholars to my daily neighbors, I know how the world would define it, but what does it mean for me? Why do I rise each day to the foolish consistency that destroys my heart within? This peripheral vision that has caused me to look to my left or right- to measure my comparison of others is a lie I’ve purchased for too long. My soul is broke as I hang my head in disgust.

What truly fills the void of man? For me, it has been several things, from cars to motorcycles, from athletics to money. But seasons change my friends. Cars break down, and father time defeats all athletes. When the dust settles, you are left with memories of what once was or what could’ve been. Some destroy themselves trying to reach that high one last time. So they find other ways to achieve it through the materials of this world. When that doesn’t work, they change their measure through chemical dependencies by the use of drugs and alcohol or anything for that matter. I used food to fill that void. I made an agreement a long time ago that I didn’t deserve to be successful or accomplished, and that I was destined to fail. As time went on and my responsibilities grew, the fear of inevitable failure manifested itself into depression and anger.

I recently had a revelation. What am I depressed and angry about? I have the most elegant and wonderful wife I could’ve ever hoped for and three beautiful children. My son Blake who has the heart of a saint. Rose, whose beauty would make the flower itself blush. And Kate, she the pop in every firecracker and the awe of its brilliance. I was depressed because I continued to fill the void with Earthly things rather than the free gifts I’ve already received…… the Lamb’s blood.

What has stood the generations of time that cannot be bought nor earned? It cannot be inherited nor created. It’s more expensive than the Crown Jewels, yet given freely to all who just ask? It will fill the void of man like a Thanksgiving dinner…. It’s the Son of Man, the diamond in the ring, the light of the world, the second Adam, the savior of men, Christ Himself, Jesus.

But any story worth recanting has its battle and war to win. Every day, men are fighting the father of lies, the Snake of Eden. The devil attacks men and their hearts because he understands that men are the foundation of the home. The brick and mortar, the studs and steel. If he can destroy the foundation of a home, it will soon be foreclosed.

I am fortunate enough to have a family that loves me and a wife that rises each morning and prays for me. I have a savior that adores me and will not forsaken me. I have realized that the closer I become to my Savior, the less peripheral my eyes are. I can focused on what has freely been given to me and the grace I have undeservingly received.

So Purpose?

I know my purpose! I will be the father my children deserve, the husband my wife deserves, the Jonathan my friends deserve, and the man God has asked me to be. What else is there?

I am truly blessed and thankful that I am not in the winter of my life before this realization.

Do I still have fear?, of course. But I take refuge in knowing that the Lord has gone before me. He has paved my path before I even know what direction I’m headed. As I battle through my sinful nature, I rejoice in the resurrection knowing that the war has already been fought for me!

“The Lord Himself will go ahead of you. He will be with you. He will never leave you. He’ll never desert you. So don’t be afraid. Don’t lose hope.- Deuteronomy 31:8